It Doesn't Get Easier

I thought that by retiring I would eliminate one stressor in my life. I would be able to sit back and finally be able to enjoy watching sliding. But as I sit here on my couch sipping coffee, sending e-mails and texts back and forth, attempting to Skye my cousin, reading the Team USA press release about a close friend of mine (http://skiing.teamusa.org/news/2011/03/03/the-lone-bahrke/41220?ngb_id=3); NBC sports on the television in the background, and I'm crying.

Emily won silver today in Lake Placid at the 2011 National Championships held at Mt. Van Hovenberg. My family is there along with a group of extremely enthusiastic and supportive friends loudly cheering on mature comment pertaining to my homesickness; "i also know that no matter where you are in the world you're going to feel like you're missing out on something because of who you are and who you know. so its just a matter of who you want to miss out on less. it sucks, but its the downside to having so many friends."

I've finally been given a taste this season as to what it was like for my family and friends who supported me for so long; waiting in anticipation for final results, feeling the joy and relief when the time sheets finally appear and Emily's name is near the top, but also the extreme sorrow you feel when expectations haven't been met and you can hear the disappointment. That's the hardest emotion to deal with hands down!

I realize that things will not get easier from here on out as the next Oympic-quad begins and the Russian Games start creeping closer; so I've decided to start blogging on Emily's behalf. One because I need it as therapy to write out these frustrations but also because Emily has started having some AH ha! moments of her own... maybe not as ridiculous as my magical underwear! But ones that are noteworthy in themselves.